I was referred to Bob and Jean by their oncologist. A hard situation. Both Bob and Jean were diagnosed with aggressive forms of cancer near the same time. Both had life changing symptoms, limited energy, mobility, and ability to keep up with basic daily tasks like preparing meals, and keeping up with housework.
They had been referred to Maintain Me for help to find an assisted living in Longmont to be nearer to their oncologist, hospital, and Jean's daughter--aka their support and care network. Their current home was over 40 minutes east, and neither were able to drive anymore on account of their illnesses. They were occasionally able to hire their neighbor for rides to their appointments, but each time it was a complicated ask. Timing was always hard to predict as is often the case with specialist appointments. The stress was mounting, and neither one had the reserves to handle any additional set backs.
When we first spoke, I was extra cautious because Jean had one more vaccination to complete, and both people are very immunodeficient from their cancer treatments. I did not want to meet in person until we were all as confident as possible that it was as safe as possible. So we started the process virtually by way of phone assessment, emailed paperwork, and talking regularly. From the questions I asked, it did seem like assisted living could be a fit, but I was hesitant because they are both so young, barely 70 years old. And did they truly need all the help with things like showers, medications, dressing, or transfers? Not that younger folks don't live in assisted living, but it is less common. I made them a list of some really great options and we pre-arranged tours for the following week. In the interim, Jean completed her second vaccine and the necessary 14 days had passed and we were all more confident about safely meeting in person.
We met and spent about two hours looking over photos of the different communities, calling and confirming the most important features, and making thorough notes, so they felt prepared for the next step- tours. But the longer I spent with them, talking about their needs, what was most important to them, and observing their ability to navigate their home physically, I was surprised to see how able they both were- and actually both were completely independent with all of their grooming, dressing, bathing and medications. They were thinking they needed assisted living, but they also had no idea there might be another level of support that would fit their needs, but not have them paying for care they did not need at this time nor would need for the foreseeable future.
I threw them a curve ball to gage their interest in at least taking a look at an Independent Living community that I am quite familiar with. It was less than 10 miles from their medical offices, the hospital, and Jean's daughter. I knew the community also provided meals included with the base rent, had complimentary medical transportation, and even had a service to pick up the poops for all doggies that lived in the community. BONUS!
We decided to add it to our tour list. It ended up being the first community we visited the following week. Low and behold, they declined to see any more after that tour. They fell in love with the community, the extra supports, and the opportunity to have fellowship and community with people their same age.
While none of us can predict the future, they may have to one day move again for more care. However, the key is they felt empowered to make their own decision about that when or if the time comes. For now this extra help boosted their desires to live again, engage, and not worry about details like keeping their apartment clean, cooking nutritious meals and shopping, who would drive them to their appointments. With all these needs met, and their spirits lifted for the first time in over a year, they felt ready to start anew. Even if they could not change their diagnosis, the cancer no longer held them hostage in insolation in their home.
And this is a success story.
