*names changed for privacy, but the picture is real, and being used with permission.
If you recall my recent success story about Gina and Bill, Bill has Parkinson's and Gina was becoming overwhelmed with his rising level of care and worsening cognitive decline. Bill's illness seemed to be more rapidly progressing, and I was fearful for both Gina and Bill's wellbeing. Well, if you recall also, Gina waited and held out for her first choice in memory care because it just felt "right". And this is really important! Though she had someone ahead of her line for the next room, Gina wanted this home for her husband. This meant she would have to miss a much-needed weekend away (she hadn't had one in years), she would have to continue her sleepless nights of worry as Bill was often up several times a night for no particular reason, she would have to push on for what she felt was the best thing to do.
Bill has been in his new home for a couple months now and is happy. Many friends visit, he is still in his neighborhood, just over a mile from his previous home, and Gina visits frequently because she is comfortable there and it is so convenient.
Back a couple of years ago, Gina and Bill had booked a sailing trip. Then COVID, then Bill started to get sicker, and Gina saw this dream slipping away from them. She had all but written it off. She was heartsick to see her Bill could no longer sail. Then when she found that Bill was doing so well, she decided to go ahead and go!
By no means is this a story about having a loved one transition so you can take that vacation, absolutely nothing of the sort! This is a story about a caregiver who has dedicated her life to her husband's well-being at home right up to the point she could not do it herself. This about a caregiver making the very hard decision to admit she needed 24/7 help to keep her husband safe. This is about finding the right place at the right time! This is about self-care and trying to pour from an empty cup... we all know how well that goes...
Gina took a week, and took her vacation, and went knowing Bill was in good hands, and she was allowed to take a break now, a breath of fresh sea air, and a moment to appreciate the blessings she and Bill had both found when she got brave enough to say, I need help.