Being positive even at your breaking point.
I recently helped a man and his wife. The couple has been married for many years. They enjoyed traveling, she loved tennis, and they care very deeply for one another.
A close call happened that left them both shaken and in search of answers. His wife has been living with dementia for a few years, but the last several months had gotten really hard. He did everything he could to take care of his wife at home-- this story is not new, and yet it was hard and painful in the same way many of the other stories of couples living two lives under a dementia diagnosis.
But what makes this sad story a success story for me was my client's overwhelming trust in himself, and his positive outlook.
We worked very quickly to find a solution for his wife's increasing care needs. She was weak, a fall risk, neither one of them were sleeping, and the whole situation was headed for a (another) disaster.
My client and I would talk and email multiple times a day... and each time he would find a way to be positive.
On the day he moved his wife into her new home he said, "A plus of getting older is that I have experienced large problems, as always, the biggest healer is time." He was being brave, he new he had to be, because he could no longer keep his wife safe at home. Ultimately, he leaned on his life experiences to know, I can do hard things, and time will help me heal.
The first few days after his wife moved in, he preferred email to talking because he would often break down and cry... but a week later, he and his wife did their first window visit. He was apprehensive before going, fearing the worst, but being the positive thinker he is, hoping for the best.
He happily reported that she looked and acted WELL!
She was emotionally stable and in good spirits. He was relieved beyond measure. He was brave, he made a hard decision, knowing it was best, he remained strong even though he was ready to break, and he has found great relief in knowing that his wife is well.
Morgan Leigh Jenkins, MA
Transition Director
Phone: (303) 847-6861
Morgan@maintain-me.com