Music to my ears… By Morgan Jenkins
My client recently called me and left a voicemail that was close to two minutes long. What you might ask, could he have said in such a lengthy voicemail???
I was sorry that I missed his call because he was calling me to tell me how happy he was at his new community that we worked together to find!
I met Jon back in January of 2019. He had been caring for his partner in her home for years, and the strain was starting to affect him, then add COVID lockdowns and things really started to take a toll on his physical and mental health. We would frequently speak on the phone, and I felt powerless to help. I wanted to take it all away and just leave joy and happiness in its place, but we know that is not how it works! Even when you love the person you are caring for very much, the toll of caring can affect you. I know, we must make our own decisions about life changes in our own time, not because we are forced.
Jon then had a scary trip to the hospital. His admitting diagnosis was painful, but treatable. But what they found during the admission was cancer. This more minor event probably saved his life, at least it added years back to his life had the cancer gone undetected. Jon said it was a wakeup call. He was not going to live this way anymore. The stress of being a caregiver was too much.
So Jon shifted his focus to 1. making sure his partner was cared for and 2. taking his own (self) care into account. Because of our Consulting Program and the relationship, I had been able to build with Jon and his partner over the last 1.5 years, it wasn't intimidating for all of us to have real conversations about goals of care, finances, hopes, dreams, desires, you name it. We got to work on, "ok now what?"
Jon had some pretty specific goals for his new community.
1. He had a fixed income with a limited amount in savings.
2. He had a very specific area of town that was close to golf, bowling, and his partner.
3. He wanted a porch or patio.
4. He wanted to have a social life.
We toured a couple places and I was able to read Jon's body language. He was walking slowly, only pointing out negative things, and saying maybe we just need to wait. I know better than to "just wait" and kept encouraging him, to at least look at a couple more places.
I happened to suggest a place that was out of his area, but that I had a good feeling about otherwise. It wasn't terribly far out of the desired area, and one could travel all roads without getting on a highway, which I knew was a concern. So here we are, and immediately I see a change in Jon. He is standing up a little taller, pointing out things that he likes, and even making suggestions for improvements based on his own work history and career. He lit up!
Now the conversation was, I think I'm ready to move here!
Jon led the charge in making his decisions, his daughter and I were helpers, but we supported him. Now John is making new friends. He loves his apartment, his own space, he's eating better, and calling to make sure I know how well he is doing!