He WAS happy because his wife was his home.
A big shout out to Rachel at Rocky Mountain Primary Care. Thank you for allowing us to serve your patients and their families!
It's a goal for a lot of us to keep our loved one's at home and care for them all the way to the end, unfortunately this is not an easy task. I was so happy to be able to meet Lily* who called in a panic one day after getting a call for her aunt. Her aunt (Sally*) called in tears as she was caring for her husband at home and was "in over her head". Sally was determined for her husband to be able to pass at home with her by his side so much so that although case managers in rehab had recommended Memory Care Assisted Living she felt she was doing her part as her husband's advocate to honor this request and take him home.
He had only been home for over a week and had fallen. Sally was afraid of him having a fall that would require him to go back to the hospital and then back to rehab. In order to prevent this from happening again she was limiting the reasons for him to travel through the house very far. She did everything she could to make this more manageable. She had bought a commode for the side of the couch, where she was also bringing food to him for each meal. She gave him sponge baths as he was too weak for the shower and she waited on him hand and foot for all his needs.
It wasn't until that day, when she called her niece, that anyone really knew how hard she was working to try to honor her husband's wishes. Sally was brave and determined but had started to come to terms that this wasn't the life her husband wanted either.
When being introduced to this family, Sally had asked her niece Lily to help with the transition to memory care assisted living as she couldn't bring herself to do it. Lily and I worked fast but not quite fast enough, the next day after us speaking he required hospitalization due to fluid build up. He immediately qualified for hospice while in the hospital. I knew that as their transition specialist we could not let him pass in the hospital, this was the opposite of what he wanted. We coordinated with hospice and the case manager at Good Samaritan Hospital.
We had two assessments from communities happen while he was in the hospital and two days later he transitioned to a memory care assisted living. This wasn't home however because he was deemed on hospice with little time left Sally got to visit (even during Covid) and be right by his side until the very end. He WAS happy, not because of the setting but because his wife was his home!
Sometimes as family members we feel obligated to care for our loved ones when all they really want is to not feel like a burden and not be separated from the people they love the most. After being together so long, it didn't matter where they were, he just wanted to make sure she was there!
*all names have been changed to protect our clients
Chelsea Sweeney
RN Case Manager
Phone: 720-629-3050
Email: Chelsea@maintain-me.com